After a few delays, I finally have a start date for when my version of anime.about.com goes live: this coming Thursday, Nov. 11.
So what does this mean for this site and all the other things I've been doing here? Right now, I dunno. It may mean, at first, a few months when I don't post much of anything, because I'll be in the process of getting a feel for the workload and the ways things are done. It might mean me just turning up here from time to time and mumbling about something or other when I can find a moment. That means, sadly, no more of the material I covered here regularly — at least, not for now. I just won't have the time, and even the simplest things required time I'm finding I no longer have. I don't mean to paint a gloomy picture, but I gotta be realistic.
I've been through some fairly major upheavals in the past twelve months, from job changes to various other things not worth going about in public, and all of it forced me to do some heavy thinking. It's all made me realize, for one thing, that I can't do a hundred things at once. Then I run the risk of doing them sloppily and stupidly, and that's not a trap I want to fall back in. I've been there before, and it wasn't good at all — it got other people hurt, not just me. (And for that, I can't be more sorry — thank goodness being dumb is a curable illness.)
I've been lucky enough to have the help of a great many good people, friends and family alike, to keep my head screwed on straight and to offer support in various forms. But in the end we all have to walk on our own.
Back when I first started studying Buddhism I learned about how most people have a skewed idea of how it works. They think that you meditate and study, and the "bad" of daily life (samsara) is replaced with the "good" of enlightenment (nirvana). It's actually more direct than that — the nirvana is in the samsara. In fact, they're the same thing — all that's changing is your perceptions of things. The things that you think are obstacles on the goal towards wisdom are the wisdom itself. It all sounds terribly hincty and facile when you run it down like that in so many words, because it doesn't convey an iota of the real flavor of it — the doing of it, where you become the laboratory and run the tests inside yourself.
So in the same way, all this work is a practice path — the path, really. Here's hoping my journey on that path is a good one.